When a Character Lingers in My Mind, I See Them in Odd Places

 

          I just finished reading a YA novel, The Life I'm In, by Sharon Flake, about a girl named Char, born into a hard life that gets significantly harder when she is lured by a predatory man into sexual slavery. In the end, she rises above even her own expectations and endears herself to readers with her resilience and newfound compassion. Char has lingered in my mind, apparently, because I saw and photographed a eucalyptus sapling today because it reminded me, metaphorically, of her! 

Every author aims to create characters who linger after the reader has closed the book. That is why VOICE is so important. An authentic voice and the opportunity to evolve enable  a character to grow, beyond the pages, into the reader's heart. And maybe even into a poem, by the reader, evoked by a memorable protagonist. Here's mine: 

DEFYING HARDNESS

by Susan L. Lipson

Like a child born into hardship,

the sapling sprouts from a rock,

unexpectedly vibrant, 

admirably resilient,

green and pliable,

despite the hard, 

unmoving origins of its roots.

I utter a blessing for its growth,

that it may weather storms,

anchored by its heavy base,

reaching through and around

to nourish itself and

eventually overshadow its

unyielding foundation.

Prompted by Chris Baron's ALL OF ME, a novel-in-verse...

     After finishing Chris Baron's middle-grade novel-in-verse, All of Me, I wholeheartedly recommended the book to my small group class of seventh- and eighth-grade creative writing students. I read them a couple of Baron's poems that illustrated how the conciseness and preciseness of poetic words can engage readers and reveal characters in ways that simple prose does not: poetic novels compel readers to interpret the subtle implications within each carefully chosen poetic word, as well as within the spaces around those words. What is not said outright in a poem, only suggested, often conveys meaning and tone as much as what is said. The ensuing discussion, prompted by my questions, such as "So what can we guess from this poem about Ari's relationship with...," led to a talk about how real friends should respond to shared pain, and how awkward it can be to share or hear deep secrets; how the best role models practice what they preach, while the worst ones act like hypocrites; and how strange it is that we never see ourselves the way others do, and how we might be less hard on ourselves if we could. 

     I then read to them, as a writing prompt, a section from one of Baron's poems (on pages 96-97 of All of Me), in which the protagonist's best friend describes "how you're supposed to look at art" in a way that leaves her "face beaming with joy." I asked them to write a poem about how to look at poetry. Below, in their own handwriting, unedited, are photos of the drafts that five of my middle-school writers produced in class. I was so pleased by the thoughtful words that I asked permission to photograph their poems and post them here. Now, please read their poems about how to read poems--how "meta," right?--and then reread them once you have learned how to do so! 

Please leave your comments about what you have learned from these poets about poetry. They would love to know they've moved you in some way!

Promising Middle-School Age Poets Explore Perspective with Humor and Innovation

          Here are the results of prompting my 11- and 12-year-old students to write poems with verse openers borrowed from another poem, by Kirsten Smith, from her poetry novel The Geography of Girlhood. The goal of this lesson was to explore perspective: how someone else sees us, and how they may underestimate or misunderstand our ways. I challenged my students to emulate the tone and format of Smith's poem by modifying her opening phrases to begin each of their own verses. This collection of four poems shows extraordinary introspection, innovation, intelligence, humor, and skills. And I must credit each poet for diligence in both writing and revising, and then sending the typed final versions to me for inclusion on my blog. These are some serious future authors here!

CLOUDS

By W. D. MacLeod, age 12

[The prompt was to write a poem about how other people see me, starting my lines with the words To them I am, Because of me, They hope I will, and I will eventually.... It was a lot of fun to write, so enjoy!]

To them, I am the reminders and the redirections, and of course the exasperated “Williams!”s.  I am the kind of kid who not matter how bright he is

Always

Forgets

His

Lunch Box.

Because of me, they always must keep watch for me. They shake their heads and chuckle 

because

I 

Will

Never

Change.

They hope that I will eventually get better, get my head out of the clouds.  “Get a wife!”says my Dad.  “Write a list!” says my Mom.  But I won’t get a wife anytime soon, and lists…

I’d

Lose

Those   

Too.

I will eventually get better.  Maybe I will need a list or a wife, but one thing is for certain:

I Like It Up Here In The Clouds!

Zucchini Jeans

By Lucy M., age 12

To her, I am a nuisance.

I am an ant that steals from her,

A fly that buzzes around her head.

 

Because of me, she is always covering her ears

To save herself from the squeaky violin sounds

That come out of my room.

She tells me she hopes I would stop following her around 

everywhere she goes,

And she wishes I would stop calling her “Zucchini Jeans.”

And I will stop bothering and following her,

And I will also get better at the violin,

But what she doesn’t know is that I’m

secretly making weird noises to drive her crazy,

Because once she goes to college,

I won’t be able to do that.

           The following poets chose to write not about themselves, but about some other narrator who is misunderstood. I have found that some writers avoid direct introspection in their work, preferring to delve into personally compelling topics through fictional representations. 

Dirt Bomb

By Allison, age 11

To her I am a dirt bomb.

My paws are earthquakes on the wood floor.

My tongue is a leaky faucet, leaving drool everywhere.

My toys are land mines all over the house.

Because of me, she’s constantly cleaning mud off the floor.

She’s always scrubbing a trail of grass stains that never seem to go away.

She hopes that I will be a winner.

One who leaves the dog show with an actual ribbon,

not a “good job for trying” certificate.

But for now, I’ll just eat the certificates. 

                                                                                          

I will eventually be the top dog in the show.

I will have gleaming fur,

and I’ll leave no messes, other than...

you know. 

When she wants to find me,

I’ll be at the end of a $100 leash,

marching up to the dog show’s door.

COEXIST

By Joshua, age 12

To us, they are small,

Inferior to our knowledge

And our thirst for innovation.

To us, they do not know

That we take their land

For the good of mankind.

To us, they are selfish.

We live here, too.

We deserve a part

Of this great useful

Land.

To them, we are invasive.

They were here first.

The land, trees, rivers

And beautiful nature

Belong to them.

We are selfish.

We only care for ourselves

And our filthy, yucky civilizations

That take up

Their beautiful,

Pristine

Natural world.

To each other, we are selfish,

But we truly aren’t.

We just use this land

How it was intended to be.

Although you are selfish,

Although you are dumb,

I’ll be the better man/animal

And coexist with you.

Robin Hood

By Christopher W., age 12

 

To them, I am a criminal to be rid of.

I go around stealing from men who bathe in riches.

They won’t miss a penny.

Because of me, the poor are alive and well,

Going out to the bustling market with coins in their pocket,

Which without they might as well be dead. 

The wealthy are always complaining about me.

They hope I will eventually be caught.

Wanted signs here and there, the reward going up and up.

Commoners are my best friends,

They will not hand me over. 

They will eventually give up.

The poor need me and the rich know they have no choice. 

This prosperous era will not come to an end until I lie in my grave, 

For I am Robin Hood.    

Metaphorical Expressions About Feeling Left Out: A Prompt that Inspired Nods and Thoughtful Poems

     Some writing prompts spark clever, analytical responses or thematically related verbal art; other prompts spark emulations based on emotional/personal connections that shine through the student's original words. My poetry prompt, "Squishable," uses my own poem about the feeling of being left out by "more popular" people to elicit an emotional and metaphorical response from students. Here is the prompt:

One student, a 10-year-old girl called Lisa, wrote a vehement analysis of the feelings conveyed by the poem (Prompt 1), then chose Prompt 2 and composed her own poem, in emulation of mine. Clearly, she understood the metaphor both intellectually and emotionally, as this poem (below) illustrates. I considered her poetic response worthy of sharing here on my blog, and I hope you will share it, too!

Poem Inspired by Reading About the Power of Resilience

Consolation Surprise

By S. L. Lipson

You’re coping surprisingly well!

The epitome of resilience!

I so admire you.

I mean, losing someone you love,

After so many years together,

That has to be devastating.

And yet here you are,

Powering through grief,

Holding it all together,

Moving forward with so much strength—

😕

What do you mean, you don’t know what I’m talking about?

😑

Wait, whaaat?

I was there. I saw what happened.

Even I was on the verge of tears.

I mean, you put up a tough façade,

But everyone knows—

😨

Yes, everyone. Why are you denying that?

We all felt so bad for you….

😲

Why? WHY?!  

You’re messing with me, right?

😶

                        Note to self:

                        Wow. Never mistake denial for resilience.

Emulation as Inspiration: A Student's Poetic Response to My Poem

     On my other blog, "Writing Memorable Words," I published a poem titled "View from Another Bench," which I recently used as a writing prompt with one of my previously featured middle-school students, eleven-year-old Aashi. I was greatly impressed with her apt emulation of my theme about how the assumptions we make about others often lead to our misguided actions, which, in turn, lead to our embarrassment. I proudly present to you here Aashi's poem, born of her response to mine: "Tied." Feel free to leave your comments for her below (and if you want to read my poem, the prompt, just click on its title, above, and the link will take you there).

Tied

by Aashi M.

The little girl bends down                          

to tie her shoes,

with a pout on her face.

My mother would tie my shoes for me

when I was her age.

But her parents are busy.

So instead, I walk over to her,

untying my own shoes,

to show her how to tie them.

"First, make bunny ears," I tell her,

making two loops with my own laces.

"Then--"

"I know how to tie them," she cuts me off.

I stare at her, shocked, 

as she finishes tying her shoes with perfect loops.

Making me look like a fool,

tying my own purposely untied shoes,

as she breezes past me.

     Emulation exercises provide an excellent launching pad for creative writing; having an actual poem or prose piece to model as a prompt can spark ideas much faster, in my experience, than a conceptual prompt. For instance, if I had given as a prompt only the description of my poem (written above), merely telling her the theme of "View from Another Bench," I guarantee that my student would have not experienced her "aha moment" before my delighted eyes. If a writing teacher provides vague or purely conceptual guidelines, young writers end up toying with possible ideas and false starts for a while before venturing, tentatively, to create a first draft. I have found that by offering my students a first line to launch their original works (and then they can modify that given line later in the final revision), or by presenting them with another poem or piece of fiction to emulate, their inspirations arrive quickly and the resulting written works generally have depth and clarity. Furthermore, the young authors have more confidence that they have fulfilled the goal of the writing prompt.

Exploring Tone Through Poetry

  Tone can show itself in a single word or phrase, evoking different contexts and implications. One of my creative eighth-grade students, prompted by my own poem, "Aah" (which explores the various ways that one can hear and interpret the exclamation "aah!"), wrote this thought-provoking poem:

by Enan A.

OHHH!

The sound of an epiphany or…

A scream of someone who stepped on a spider

Ohh…

The sound of disappointment or...

The end of that awkward conversation

OH?

The sound of someone who wants to know more or…

The sarcasm of someone who is not falling for the other person’s tricks

Enan's poem allows us to hear the exclamation in different ways, and to view different contexts--positive and negative--for each context. This is a poem that begs to be read aloud and enacted. I will certainly share it with future students!