Humble Pie and Other Savory Figurative Expressions

While discussing idioms, a student asked me whether making someone "eat humble pie" could be a good thing. I said it could be good for the "eater," if the "server" doesn't embarrass him in a mean way, but rather, allows the "eater" to digest his mistake and correct it. I explained that the phrase is similar to "making someone eat their words," or take back what they've claimed and then apologize for offending people. In trying to find new ways to explain the old saying, I came up with this metaphorical line:

HUMBLE PIE IS MOST NOURISHING WHEN SERVED WARM, WITH A SPRINKLE OF SWEET TACT, AND NIBBLED IN SOLITUDE--RATHER THAN SERVED COLD, DRY, AND GULPED IN PUBLIC.

Creating memorable, original metaphors and similes is no easy task. While reading aloud with my students, I call their attention to masterful metaphors and spot-on similes whenever we encounter them in poetic prose. Sometimes I turn our analyses of apt expressions into lessons.

For example, in one lesson about writing fresh--rather than trite--words, I ask students to analyze the plethora of lively similes used by children's book author Bruce Hale in his "Chet Gecko" mystery series. Even though the series targets 8 to 12 year olds, the similes are even more appreciated by ages 12 and up, I've found. We discuss what makes Hale's figurative language memorable--their humorous, surprising comparisons, as well as the fresh twists on old sayings--such as: "It brought more trouble than a busload of candy-crazed chipmunks on Halloween night." I ask whether the opening phrase, "it brought more trouble than," sounds familiar--as in the old saying, "it brought more trouble than a barrel of monkeys." (Some kids recognize that saying, and some don't.) I then point out that the humor of Hale's chipmunk simile is doubled by his twisting of the expected old saying into a fresh, new version. Next, my students choose from a list of Hale's hilarious similes and metaphors a few lines to try rewriting in their own fresh words. 

Here are some samples by 13-year-old F.H., written in response to Hale's memorable lines:

Hale's simile: "The two bruisers advanced on us like a pair of tanks against tricycles."
F.H.'s version: "The two bruisers advanced on us like a shopping cart on Black Friday."

Hale's metaphor: "A buzz-saw voice sliced through the hubbub."
F.H.'s version: "An angry voice broke through the milk drinking contest for the lactose-intolerant."

Hale's simile: "Recess came, sweeter than a honey-covered fruit fly after a plateful of brussels sprouts."  (A gecko's perspective of sweetness, remember!)
F.H.'s version: "Recess came, sweeter than a burning of math text books."


A carefully written figurative expression not only has the power to amuse and/or broaden the reader's perspective, but also the power to develop the character of the narrator or character who uses those poetic words. F.H.'s last simile, above, shows us his narrator's level of love for math books--right? (Or maybe F.H.'s…)  

Anyone involved in teaching or learning about writing can benefit from emulating this exercise. As you read any story, fiction or nonfiction, note figurative expressions that you admire; copy them down; try to make them your own by altering the words as F.H. did. It's a great exercise of your figurative language skills, your humor, and your practice of "showing, not telling." And it will enhance your awe for words as it develops your own awesome writing!

Art Gives Birth to Art: Poetry Born of Photo Prompts

My students, when writing fiction, have heard me coach them with a lot of film references:

• "Your words are the cables that connect the DVD playing in your mind with the DVD player in your reader's mind." (I used to say "video" and "VHS player," so you know how long I've been using this metaphor!)
• "When you write dialogue, think of yourself as a film or TV director, and make your characters do interesting actions while they talk, actions that show us who they are. Like the old saying goes, 'Actions speak louder than words' sometimes."
• "Be sure to add description and action to a dialogue to bring it to life like a movie in the reader's mind; otherwise, if you use only dialogue, it's like listening to a radio show, not a movie."
• "Movies don't start with 'once upon a time'; they pull you right into a scene, and then allow you to figure out what's going on. Write that way, starting with a scene."
• "When you switch speakers in a scene with a lot of dialogue, you indent to help the reader follow who's speaking; it's like a close-up shot in a movie, alternating from one person to another, during a conversation."
• "You can show a character with greater depth, sometimes, via the reactions of other supporting characters. Like in a movie, when an actor says a line, and the others raise their eyebrows and nudge each other, the viewers question their first impression of the main character, which makes that character more interesting."
• "If you rely on adverbs, rather than vivid verbs, to show how an action is done, you're not showing a scene."

My students also hear me comparing the editing process to sculpting or painting:

• "Your first draft is like a piece of wood or stone that you've carved with a basic shape. Then you start editing, or sanding your sculpture, adding texture and changing the form in certain spots. You might chip off certain pieces and then smooth them over again. That's what I call 'editing for substance.' Finally, you polish the sculpture with shellac, or whatever polish you use--and that's the proofreading stage, where you fix the spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes and make the whole piece shine."
• "Start your scenes like a painter starts filling a canvas. Add color with descriptions and actions. Add texture with words that convey a certain mood."
• "When you overuse figurative language, it's like filling a wall with beautiful paintings that all compete with each other so you don't know where to look or what to focus on. One well-placed painting, like a strong metaphor or simile, will draw your eye and make you think, but too many will overwhelm you."

                       

And when I teach poetry, I often give musical references:

• "A poem is a song without music; its rhythm can evoke mood as much as its words."
• "You can rap a couplet poem!"
• "Repetitive phrases act like a song chorus, to make the reader remember the point of the poem."

In short, what I'm writing about today is this:

The appreciation of art prompts the creation of art--and vice versa.

That is why I not only talk about other art forms to teach writing, but also use those art forms as prompts. Today's exemplary student work was prompted by a photo of a boy blowing bubbles while sitting in a wheelchair. The poem, by P.K., age 11, reflects extraordinary empathy from the able-bodied poet. 

Popped Bubble

Bubbles

have courage

whereas I

have fear.

They have courage to fly away,

but I have a fear of standing up.

They have the courage

to face danger in the world,

but I have a fear

of confronting life.

Bubbles

can fly

as high as they like,

but nobody

will get in their way.

Nature,

Life,

always get in my way.

They push me till I can no longer stand.

If I try, they will push me again.

They do this until

I am powerless,

courageless.

I am a popped bubble

in a wheelchair.

Enough said!

Poem Prompt To Elicit Introspection about Friendship

I asked students to read a poem titled "Pen Pal," about a best friend whose identity is revealed at the end to be paper itself. We discussed the traits of an ideal friend, and how to show these traits via examples, not mere labels. (The full lesson is available on http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Poem-Prompt-for-Essay-Poetry-and-Fiction-Writing-AND-Introspection-880284). One of the exercises calls for students to write a mock “Wanted” advertisement, describing in as few specific words as possible, the best friend they seek. I told them not to use trait words, such as “compassionate,” but rather, to SHOW the traits they seek with examples (such as, “She always makes room for me when I need to express my feelings”). I also told them to make every word count, practicing the “economy of words” in their ads or poems. This was one of my favorites:


LOST
By K.E., age 12

*A person with an open mind, open heart, and open arms
*A person able to pick me up in my most shattered state
*A person who can glue me back together with kind, reassuring words
*A person who can accept any and all of my differences and can love them
*A person who will support me when doing the right thing, but argue against me when doing wrong
*A person who can see the worst part of me and never tell a soul
*A person who can sit down with me when I’m crying and weep next to me, even without knowing what’s happened
*A person who would be able to put everything down to rush to my side

If found, please contact me at 1-800-Find-Plz


Please tell K.E. which of her lines moved you most by leaving a comment below.

An Eleven Year Old's Passionate Response to an Equally Passionate Essay in TEEN INK magazine

This essay response made my eyes teary as my student read it aloud, not only because it is extraordinarily well written for a 6th grader, but also--and even more importantly--because of the heartfelt connection between a preteen and a teen via passionate words.



In the informal essay, “Of My Generation,” [TeenInk author] Amal Oladuja talks about the lives of today’s generation. The tone of this essay is very unique. It is sarcastic to most parents who might be reading, but something kids can relate to their own lives. A sentence says, “I am expected to thrive academically, eat healthily, sleep regularly, exercise frequently, socialize freely, converse openly—al the while managing my time efficiently.” When an adult reads this, he/she may have a reaction like: “This is really what our children think of their lives when we try so hard for them?!” But that is exactly what parents are doing wrong. They try too hard to make their children meet the perfect expectations of society. Instead of thinking of the child as a person, they think of them as a tool.

The tone of Oladuja’s essay suggests that life is something he has no say in. Almost every paragraph starts with a commanding verb: “I am expected to, I’m supposed to, I’ve got to, I belong to…,” and so on. Also, the way the writer puts everything in an extreme compare/contrast situation hits every reader hard with different emotions. Personally, I can relate to this essay. It’s true, being a perfectionist, trying to be someone I’m not, being social, and getting straight A+’s is sometimes nearly impossible in our constricted time. Reading this essay made me realize that the “Stillborn Generation,” as Amal Oladuja calls it, may never be able to think for themselves or “breathe a suggestion.”


If you are a parent or teacher reading this, what have you learned from this young writer?

If you are a kid yourself, can you relate to this pressure, and how would you like to see our attitudes toward education change in the U.S.A?

I highly recommend the publication TeenInk for thoughtful kids ages 11 and up.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS FOR THIS YOUNG AUTHOR (AND ME) BELOW!

Word-Spinning with Euphemisms, Slanted Words, and Partial Information

My lesson on "The Power of Words To Manipulate Readers," was one of the recent favorites of all of my students, because it allowed them to play with words and see how they could “modify” or “spin” facts to soften harsh realities and control the reader's perceptions. The full lesson is available on my page at TeachersPayTeachers.com (http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Understanding-Euphemisms-Ambiguities-and-Twisted-Wording-in-Nonfiction-919808). Students wrote for each other a brief, direct description of a criminal's life story, and then they rewrote that story with euphemistic descriptions to make the criminal sound like a hero, without actually changing the facts. This verbal manipulation was a challenge my students met and enjoyed, a challenge that taught them the subtle power of words to alter a reader's perspective. It also taught them the importance of critical thinking and critical reading to avoid being unwittingly manipulated by alleged nonfiction articles.

Here are examples of the "straight stories" versus the "spun stories":

The Life of John Carlton, by D.S., age 10 (He wrote both parts of his story.)

"STRAIGHT" OBITUARY:

John Carlton Smith, also known as The Smashing Smith, was illegitimately born on September 22, 1935 to an unemployed migrant worker from Cuba, Jason Cortez Smith, and an immigrant from Mexico, Cortina Carlton Hermana. Both illegally immigrated to the United States, but were allowed to stay because their son, John Carlton Smith, was now an American citizen. From what records exist, it seems that Smith was a good student when he was young, getting accepted into Harvard University. However, his grades fell rapidly, and, in his second year, suspended for "destruction of private property and public property belonging to the State of Massachusses.” He was forced to hand over his name, signature, and photograph to help the police track him down if he ever began illicit activities again. It seems that, after both his father and mother died, John quit college and bought a passage to Calcutta, India, under a 2 month work visa. After the two months were up, John, having joined a multinational ring of drug dealers and thieves that frequently paid visits to the Louvre in Paris, and the Metropolitan in New York. He smuggled 82,108 tons of heroin and opium before he was arrested and tried by authorities in Afghanistan. He died of a heart attack on September 23, 1999 while serving out a lifetime sentence in Afghanistan.

"SPUN" STORY:

John Carlton Smith- (22 September, 1935 – 23 September, 1999)
John Carlton Smith was born to a Latin-American heritage on September 22, 1935. His parents, Jason Cortez Smith and Cortina Carlton Hermana, were both immigrants from the coasts of the Gulf of Mexico. They worked on farms in various locations across America, eventually meeting each other at a farm in the heartlands of America. Despite the fact that he had to transfer schools multiple times, he was able to maintain a spotless record through the first year of college. He attended the prestigious Harvard College. He maintained the spotless record even until the beginning of his second year at Harvard. That year, he had the honor of meeting with state officials, even giving his name and photograph to them. After his mother and father passed away, John decided to take a break from college, and headed on a ship bound for Calcutta, India. He planned on staying only two months, but ended up being employed by a multinational drug company that serviced millions of people worldwide. He also took up the hobby of collecting valuables, such as antique oil paintings, vintage items, and other such goods. He frequented museums like the Louvre in Paris, and the Metropolitan in New York. He carried over 82,108 tons of medicine and valuables before he was retired by government officials. He was invited to stay at a government facility in Afghanistan, and graciously accepted the offer. Sadly, he passed away while staying in the government facility, leaving us because of a heart attack on September 23, 1999. We all miss this man, who influenced thousands of people from the young generation, and thousands more to come.


The Story of Joseph Tissue, by B.C., age 13 (He wrote the straight story, and I "modified" it.)

"STRAIGHT" STORY:

Joseph Tissue was born on 1943. He is known as one of the most dangerous gangsters of all time. He robbed several banks, killed hundreds of people, and had one of the largest cocaine factories in the world. He also killed Franklin Roosevelt's cook, Pop Lolli. However, all legends and great stories must come to an end. Joseph Tissue was finally arrested in 1973 and was hung in 1975.

"SPUN" STORY:

Mr. Joseph Tissue, born in 1943, grew up to become one of the most awe-inspiring community organizers of all time. Several banks awarded him sums of cash, and hundreds of people gave their lives for him. Tissue directed one of the world's largest drug companies, serving people worldwide. President Franklin Roosevelt's cook, Pop Lolli, laid down his life for Mr. Tissue and stories about Mr. Tissue spread. In 1973, his followers finally forced him to take a break from his busy working life for two years, at which time they invited him to hang out for the last time.


The Story of Vandals, Michael Fu and Jake Smith, by B.C., same as above (I wrote the straight story, he spun it.)

"STRAIGHT" STORY:

Two students at Everton Middle School, Michael Fu and Jake Smith, sprayed graffiti all over the new handball courts, depicting violent scenes from graphic novels, logos of skateboard companies, and hateful profanity directed at various teachers. Police tracked down the vandals at school the next day and arrested them, charging them with "malicious destruction of property." They were taken to the local juvenile detention center and booked for their crimes.

"SPUN" STORY:

Artists of Everton Middle School, Michael Fu and Jake Smith, painted handball courts with their Manga heroes and skateboard sponsors, and even special notes and comments to some of their favorite teachers. However, due to their growing fame, including with government officials, they have been taken in personally for signatures and photograph signings.


The whirling maelstrom of spun words continues in my classes as I keep using this lesson to teach kids the power of words: how they influence people and how they influence us. The students doing this lesson with me also analyze editorials in search of slanted words meant to affect your opinions. If you want to try the "word-spinning" aspect of this lesson yourself, either download it from the link to TeachersPayTeachers (printed above), or simply try spinning your own stories from actual news briefs. Feel free to share your results in the comments below!

Prompted by Poignancy: More Students' Works!

I offered some middle-schoolers this poem as a writing prompt: "Listen," by Miller Williams, which ends with the line: "I've had some trouble putting it out of my mind." The poignant poem recalls a narrator tricking his dog into playing fetch with a snowball, and then feeling guilty about watching the poor dog run in circles to find the disintegrated snowball on the snow-covered ground. I suggested that my students write a poem or short story with Williams's same last line, to capture a similarly poignant event. Here is the moving poem that J.C., a 7th grader, created with this prompt.

"If Only"
by J.C., age 12

I was reading a book when it happened
Didn't feel like leaving my book to find nothing
Figured it was the wind
The forest of branches around my house trying to break in

But still the tapping persisted
The rapid knocks only growing faster and faster
And finally when I heard a tortured cry
Did I care to go see
There, with its wing at an awkward angle, a baby bird, crying pitifully
Drumming the sliding glass door

I brought it to the vet
They later told me the bird was gone
Told me he--for it was a he--
Almost made it
If only we had 2 more minutes, they said
If only you could have driven a little faster, they said
If only I didn't ignore it, I said

I've had some trouble putting it out of my mind



Another prompt for middle-schoolers was my own poem, "Aah!," which explores the many ways that exclamation is used, with different tones depending upon the context eliciting the "aah!" I suggested that students find a similar exclamation, often uttered in various tones that convey different scenes. Here is what 11-year-old S.V. wrote:

Wow!
By S.V., age 11

“Wow! Thanks so much!”
Who could that be?
A little girl finally getting the much-longed-for, glamorous, pink tutu?
Or was it…a teenage girl who just won the dance contest for which she had practiced so, so much?

“Wow. You have got to be kidding me.”
Who could that be?
The same little girl who just realized the tutu wasn’t for her?
Or was it…the teenage girl sadly discovering that actually, she had lost by one point?

“Wow! I can’t believe it!”
Who could that be?
The beaming little girl hugging the new, even more gorgeous tutu that her parents just gave her?
Or was it…that teenage girl who found out that the judges had miscalculated and that she had won?

Wow…I didn’t know “wow” could be said that many ways!

THIS ANGERS ME: The Advocacy of Sensationalism Over Integrity

One of my private writing students was assigned by his high school English teacher to write a personal narrative about a challenging event in his life. He wrote about almost winning an academic team competiton, and I helped guide his recounting of the event. He used vivid descriptions, authentic dialogue, and showed the excitement and tension that he and his team experienced, even though he did overwrite a bit. According to the rubric used by his school teacher for grading, I would have given him a score of B+. But his school teacher gave him a C- because "winning a competition is not enough of a problem." The teacher said he was looking for a stronger, more dramatic climax, something "more compelling."

But this event WAS dramatic to this sheltered 13-year-old, and he was graded not on his writing, but on his lack of depth of experience! His teacher suggested that he rewrite the story and add some bigger problem; and when our mutual student pointed out that such a revision would mean fictionalizing his memoir, the teacher told him that he didn't have to make things up, just "embellish." Such embellishment of so-called memoirs is what discredited famous "NONFICTION" books like A Million Little Pieces and Three Cups of Tea. I am profoundly disappointed by the mixed message given to my student in his school.

We do not need to raise more tabloid-level journalists or phony college-essay-writers who make up personal tragedies that end up securing "sympathy admissions" to colleges. If you ask someone to write about his life, judge his writing, not his life. Lying is for fiction--and rightly so.